Family Fun & Food for Thought

On Monday Nov 24 we met with our friend Bernardo for lunch in Porto before his girlfriend Carolina's final showing for her master's degree in art.  The restaurant was a charming old style nook with much wood and stone, and we all had delicious spiced chicken over rice (which we again forgot to photograph for you). 

 

The exhibition subject was exploring the theme of how trauma can inspire art, which came from a terrifying 8 m (24 foot) fall from a waterfall and a broken back which Carolina experienced in Brazil years ago.  (She recovered fully, fortunately.)  She is primarily a ceramics and mixed media artist.  She had explanatory cards in English next to each of her many works, and the overall experience was truly moving.  She invited people to release their own traumas by writing them on cards and burning them in a ceremonial pot.  She had shattered some illustrated ceramic works of hers and invited people to take any pieces which spoke to them.  A video loop rolled, describing her experience (in English text) in poetic and evocative terms.  Speeches were made, including from her professors, little of which we understood, but the flowing sound of Portuguese was soothing and good for us to be immersed in.  A little jarring too, when everyone suddenly laughed at a joke you entirely missed.

One piece

And its description

The walkway from our pool had been a little hurriedly finished up a few weeks ago, so the contractor offered to replace it at no charge.  The masons did a very nice job this time, and their craftsmanship and honorable conduct was appreciated.  (See below for the way to properly handle this, which Gerrit accidentally navigated.)

Tuesday Nov 25 through Friday Nov 28 Pat worked on her Portuguese Thanksgiving feast.  She roasted some turkey breasts and legs, made stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, a sweet potato and spinach bake, appetizers, a Portuguese orange square dessert (Quadradinhos de Laranja, or "little squares of orange"), and pumpkin pie.  She is making vegetarian variations of some dishes too.

The Quadrinhos dessert she actually made years ago in Seattle, not realizing that it was a Portuguese recipe.  She got a little choked up here when she realized that, at how we are completing some kind of circle or continuity here.

Friday Nov 28 Gerrit had to get another blood test to make up for one on Tuesday which was incomplete.  He went to the clinic and did the whole transaction in Portuguese, saying things like "I want a blood test, no prescription, no insurance, I pay directly", providing information, and even making small talk with the nurse.  He says this is really getting fun, and he often makes up imaginary dialogs in Portuguese.  With his imaginary friends, Pat assumes.

We have some new rotating composting bins outside the back door so we can compost kitchen waste.  Pat adds ground up cardboard to the waste, which reduces smell and provides a better compost.  Gerrit has been cranking out the cardboard for this, tearing it and using the wood chipper.

Saturday morning Nov 29 we both got ready for our pseudo-Thanksgiving.  There was plenty of work to do to make desserts, make the potato dishes, and reheat food already prepared.  Everyone arrived at 1 PM, we chatted and had appetizers until 2:00, then sat for the feast.  And once again, we forgot photos.  You should find a blog on Instagram with young people photo-documenting their lives; we just can't seem to get the hang of it.  The feast was all delicious and well appreciated.  Then we had a stimulating, wide ranging conversation until 5:30 or so.  It was great fun, and we good friends became even closer.

On Monday Dec 1 Gerrit's son Elliott and his family passed through Ponte de Lima on their way back from Andorra to Porto and their flight home.  They had spent Thanksgiving there with Gerrit's other son Ian and his family.  We had two days and a night with them, playing at our favorite Ponte de Lima playground and at home here.  Gerrit made the traditional Portuguese Bacalhau à Brás for dinner and Pat made a squash, broccoli, and grape casserole.  On Tuesday the kids were on their own for a few hours while we went to a doctor appointment, and they did some shopping and walking around historic Ponte de Lima.  It was a fun, brief goodbye till next time.

The cousins meet for the first time in Andorra	Andorra dad & daughter on the left, Colorado on the right
Colorado kids in Braga with us	Meeting some goats across the street from our home

Rasslin' with Dad

Granddaughter Avie in the statue's basket

Wednesday Dec 3 we met our new family doctor in Viana do Castelo.  Our old doctor was in Porto, convenient when we lived in the apartment in Vila Nova de Gaia but not so much now.  We gave our new doctor our current medical information and learned a little about the system here.  They don't have video doctor appointments in Viana and there isn't a way to transmit documents electronically, so the standard method is the old-fashioned visit to your doctor with printed documents.  We will be doing that regularly to report medical procedures and to provide her with blood tests, etc.  It sounds like a nuisance, but it's kind of sweet and personal too.

Pat found an interesting essay about the differences between Anglo and Portuguese work cultures.  It was written by an American who has been here for five years.  He sums up the Portuguese culture this way:

• Honor-based shame avoidance
• High-context indirectness
• Hierarchical authority preservation
• Liability-averse bureaucratic instinct
• A cultural tradition where fixing the problem IS the apology

Anglos feel that admitting fault and making a public apology shows good faith and honesty, but that runs counter to the Portuguese way.  Apology and directness are considered undignified and a source of shame here.  Instead, indirectness, formality, context sensitivity, and a lack of apology are the rule.  When a problem arises a vague and dissembling reason is given, and instead of an apology the problem is simply fixed (you hope).

There isn't a right or wrong about this, it's just the way the different cultures are.  There is more to it than the bit we've related here, too, so see the whole essay here if you're interested.  It's pretty long, but thoughtful and insightful.  We think understanding all this will be helpful in our dealings with Portuguese services and our understanding of the culture.

(As usual, you can click on any photo to enlarge it, scroll through them all, and click outside a photo when you're done.  Also, you can click on the bold underlined phrases to play the audio.)

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